A Dose of Gratitude, and a Purple Yoga Mat

This morning, as I was rushing to gather my belongings that I wanted to bring to my newly painted office, my yoga mat happened to be one of them. It occurred to me at that moment that purple mat was nearly fifteen years old and all of the many versions of me it had seen. And I got a little sentimental. 

When I first purchased her, yes, I am going to refer to my mat now as “her”, because “she” is one of my oldest friends, now.  So… when I purchased her I was in my mid-twenties and renting a high school friend’s apartment with another friend of mine. It was a hip and fun time. A busy time. It was the dawn of my yoga days, and back then yoga wasn’t such a popular thing. I started out with Bikrim yoga. I know they don’t call it that now, but that’s what it was called back then. I remember thinking that hot yoga was exuberantly hot. It was not easy for me. Not one bit, actually. Just the heat alone made it a challenge, and if you’ve been reading along at previous blog posts, that’s no surprise to you. Anyway, once I got used to the heat part of it, I started to appreciate the difficulty of the poses in Bikrim. They didn’t come easy for me, either, but I loved the challenge of having to focus and be still in them. The self discipline was a form of meditation for me.I went nearly five days a week back then. 

For the better part of the next decade, I had remained single, moved a few times, and faltered in and out of my yoga routines as I worked multiple jobs at a time.  When I did hit the yoga studio, it was something I was “fitting in” and no longer a part of my daily routine. By then I had also grown to love hot flow a little more than Bikrim, but I would revisit it here and there just for the discipline it brought me. When I look back on those years the girl that showed up to that mat was typically whipped from working two+ jobs, a little lonely, and still trying to find her place in the world. I feel exhausted just thinking about those days. I remember thinking back then that if I just worked more or harder that maybe things would get better for me. I know now that when things feel tough and hard, it’s because they probably aren’t meant for you. And when it’s right, it will feel good and in-line with your purpose. 

When I met my husband, she witnessed me doing yoga with a boyfriend. Admittedly, my yoga days had dwindled down to every-now-and-then’s by that point. The classes I would take changed a bit, too. I found solace in the deep stretch and more relaxing classes. After we had our first baby, she disappeared into the abyss of our dark garage. And, sadly she sat there for years. I neglected she and myself for literally years. In the last four years, that mat has moved with us across the country twice, and been used a casual 10, mayyyyyybe 15 times. But, something in me this morning said I needed to bring her with me here today.   My first thought in bringing her was that in the future I could maybe sneak in a yoga session or a deep stretch here and there in between clients. But now, I am realizing it is probably something a little bit deeper than that. She has been with me through some of the most joyful, amazing, and toughest of years of my life. It truly seems fitting that she should be here with me today and moving forward. Of course I realize that “she” is a material belonging, but for me, she represents so much more than that. She represents perseverance. She represents versatility. She represents so many things that remind me of me. I suspect that we all have a purple yoga mat of some sort. For some it may be a tennis racket, or a bike, or maybe it’s your favorite jacket, journal or blanket. The thing is, it’s not silly or superficial to love and appreciate something material. It’s part of the whole experience. We need things to get us through life. But, despite our deepest need for something, we can still overlook the importance of them from time to time. We can let them slip away into dark places where they sit there lonely and forgotten. So, today I am asking you…

What material possession have you been overlooking lately? What have you left in your dark garage or closet? When was the last time you took a moment, or many, to appreciate, I mean reallllly appreciate the material blessings you have in your life? Has something been there, carrying you through your tough times? Have you thanked it? What part of you does that item represent? Is it your future or your past, or both?

To my purple mat:

Thank you, thank you for supporting me through some of my sweatiest, toughest challenges of my life. Thank you for holding up through the dark, cob-webbed places I have been and left you in.  Thank you for sitting here with me as I write this. And thank you, for all of the future sessions we will have together. I love you and I am grateful for you.

XX, 

Mariah

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*** Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice. This is for entertainment purposes only. You should consult a medical professional prior to making any medical or lifestyle changes and decisions. ***